It has been a couple of days since I last posted anything. It has been a busy week.
I started thinking that I didn’t have a daughter anymore. She has been off this summer break with all her friends, surfing, sleep overs, swimming, boating. Plus she was a way for a week at camp. I will admit I am starting to feel lonely. But I also have to accept the fact that she is growing up and it is me who has to adapt.
I start coaching her soccer team this coming week which should be interesting. Hey other parents with no experience have done it I can too. It should be fun. I had originally signed up as assistant coach and ended up being the head coach. Doesn’t seem to matter that I know absolutely nothing about soccer.
We lost one of our kitties today. Believe me when I say that I cried for two reasons.
1. Because I feel like I failed this poor creature who depended on me for food, water, shelter. Which she got all of the above plus a whole lot of love. But still I felt so bad.
2. While I was digging a grave in the woods behind our house I cried because I am a single parent who had to deal with this alone. My neighbors took my daughter while I went and dug the whole but while I was doing this I selfishly was angry that I didn’t have a husband to help me with this; the backward thinking of I shouldn’t have to do this a man should be.
Don’t get me wrong my heart breaks for the loss my daughter is feeling over her pet but I am human and there are times I feel I need help. But I am a single mom and I did what I needed to do. So the hole got dug then I wrapped Lady, that was her name, in a plastic bag, placed her in the whole I struggled to dig and after I covered her over I scrapped ” Lady 2014″ into a big boulder that she is buried next to. So she has her own head stone.
It can be very hard being a single mom. Trying is another good term for it. But that is what makes all of us single parents stronger than most. We have to do the work and worry of two parents and not show how upset we really are. I know I will cry myself to sleep tonight and be looking for her when I wake in the morning.
Well even though this evening I felt alone. I know that I am not and neither are you.
ThePinkRhododendron 